i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
50% drunk capacity currently
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
