I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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