I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
