oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
