If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
