I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
