I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
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so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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