I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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