:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
