After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
