I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
