Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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