M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
