I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
