Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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