So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
