i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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