My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
