everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
sex in a hospital.. check
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
