last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
