I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
