If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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