That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
