Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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