she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
