I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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