I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
