Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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