goodnight i made you a song goodbye
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
