I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
