I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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