i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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