i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
