It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
