You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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