Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
