dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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