he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
