I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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