so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
