Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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