Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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