he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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