Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
