hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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