Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
