i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
