oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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