I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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