some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
