Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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