Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
