I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
