I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
