So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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