You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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