If i come over, it means nothing
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
